Clint Robert Murphy

A LIFE JOURNEY

I am focused on increasing my knowledge in the following areas:

  • Fantasy
  • Stoicism
  • Buddhism
  • Philosophy
  • Psychology
  • Men’s Work
  • Shadow Work
  • Emotional Intelligence
  • Financial Independence

Here are the books I am reading and that I have written reviews on or posted videos on.

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck by Mark Manson – Interesting approach to tell you to stop sweating so much of the little shit in life and instead, focus on only big shit that really moves the needle for you. This reminded me of what Tim Ferriss refers to as First Principles. Favorite quote I will continue to use: No Fucks Given. [Audio Book]

Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss – A very interesting approach to negotiating from someone that could not afford to split the difference. For example, when you are negotiating with someone that has taken two hostages, it is never a good idea to split the difference with them. Learn from Chris Voss, a former FBI hostage negotiator, how the techniques he, and the FBI, used to negotiate the release of hostages can be used every day in all of your negotiations. I found it to be a quick and enlightening read and believe it will be beneficial in everyday life and more importantly the negotiations that really matter. Favorite quote I will continue to use: How can I do that?

Mindset, the New Psychology of Success by Carol Dweck – In this book, Carol differentiates between two types of mindset, the Fixed Mindset and the Growth Mindset. Fundamentally, someone with a fixed mindset believes that they are fixed in certain ways, such as intelligence, talent, physical abilities, artistic capabilities. Someone with a growth mindset, on the other hand, believes they can grow in any, and every, area with sufficient efforts. For example, if they aren’t an artist, they can work at it and they can become a better artist. Something important to consider is that you can demonstrate a growth mindset in certain areas, while devolving to a fixed mindset in others.

For example, By writing this blog, reading 52 books per year, hiring a coach and deciding I will run every day for the second year in a row, I am demonstrating a growth mindset in a number of areas. I know that I can be better and I will work at it to get there. Unfortunately, I will be the first person to tell you that I cannot be an artist, that I don’t have that skillset. Carol impressed me by showing illustrations that were done in the book by average people that could not draw to begin, but could do amazing self sketches with very little training. When I am successful in my goals this year, I will set a goal next year to become an artist, with a goal to focus on abstract paintings.

The most important takeaway for me was how to utilize the concepts from the book in being a father to my two young boys, who should have a mother and father encouraging a growth mindset. For more information, see Growth Mindset for Parents.

Daily meditation?

Why should you do that?

There are immeasurable benefits to meditation.

  • Improved sleep
  • Clearer thinking
  • Stress reduction
  • Reduced anxiety
  • Generates kindness
  • Helps fight addictions
  • Improved self-esteem
  • Improved pain control
  • Increased attention span
  • Enhanced self-awareness
  • Improved emotional health
  • Reduced memory age-loss
  • Reduced risk of depression
  • Decrease in blood pressure

Can this all be real?

Read on and let’s find out.

After all, if there is one thing that I would recommend every single human being could benefit from, it would be meditation.

In February, I will begin my mindfulness meditation teacher certification program, which will take me two years of study to complete.

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Wait, another person telling me that I should be waking up earlier. Why? What’s in it for me?

I believe that you should wake-up earlier for two reasons:

  • Choices
  • Discipline

Before I dive in, I know there is research that indicates we have different sleep rhythms, that some of us aren’t as productive earlier in the day.

That aside, I like to think, and write, for the average person and the average person should be waking up earlier.

That includes me. I don’t do it consistently, though I know without a doubt that I should do it.

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We are what we think.

Thinking is flawed.

Fix your thinking.

Methods to fix your thinking

There are many methods to fix your thinking, do not constrain yourself to one. Do your research. Personally, I look to the following:

  • Stoicism
  • Buddhism
  • Meditation
  • Mindfulness
  • Psychoanalysis
  • Cognitive behavior therapy

While I am studying to familiarize myself with all of these methods, I will focus this writing on Stoicism, which was one of the first methods I found to fix my thoughts.

Stoic concepts

The Stoics had two key concepts on thinking and happiness:

A. Circles of influence

B. Event versus perception

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Keep this thought at the ready at daybreak, and through the day and night—there is only one path to happiness, and that is in giving up all outside of your sphere of choice, regarding nothing else as your possession, surrendering all else the God and Fortune.

Epictetus, Discourses, 4.4.39

For me, serenity is found through Buddhism, which parallels the Epictetus quote above.

Buddhism has four noble truths:

  1. Life means suffering
  2. The origin of suffering is attachment
  3. The cessation of suffering is attainable
  4. The path to the cessation of suffering

Life means suffering

  • Life in its totality is imperfect and incomplete, because our world is subject to impermanence
  • To live means to suffer, because the human nature is not perfect and neither is the world we live in
  • We are never able to keep permanently what we strive for, and just as happy moments pass by, we ourselves and our loved ones will pass away one day, too

The origin of suffering is attachment

  • The origin of suffering is attachment to transient things and the ignorance thereof
  • Ignorance is the lack of understanding of how our mind is attached to impermanent things
  • Because the objects of our attachment are transient, their loss is inevitable, thus suffering will necessarily follow
  • Transient things do not only include the physical objects that surround us, but also ideas, and -in a greater sense- all objects of our perception
  • The reasons for suffering are desire, passion, ardour, pursuit of wealth and prestige, striving for fame and popularity, or in short: craving and clinging

The cessation of suffering is attainable

  • The third noble truth expresses the idea that suffering can be ended by attaining dispassion
  • Suffering can be overcome through human activity, simply by removing the cause of suffering
  • The cessation of suffering can be attained through the unmaking of sensual craving and conceptual attachment

The path to the cessation of suffering

There is a path to the end of suffering – a gradual path of self-improvement, which is described more detailed in the Eightfold path.

The Eightfold path:

  1. Right view is to see and and understand things as they really are
  2. Right intention: commitment to ethical and mental self-improvement:
    1. the intention of renunciation, which means resistance to the pull of desire
    2. the intention of good will, meaning resistance to feelings of anger and aversion
    3. the intention of harmlessness, meaning not to think or act cruelly, violently, or aggressively, and to develop compassion
  3. Right speech is the first principle of ethical conduct on the Eightfold path, which is viewed as a guideline to moral discipline:
    1. to abstain from slanderous speech
    2. to abstain from harsh words that offend or hurt others
    3. to abstain from idle chatter that lacks purpose or depth
  4.  Right action involves the body as natural means of expression, as it refers to deeds that involve bodily actions
    1. to abstain from harming sentient beings
    2. to abstain from taking what is not given
    3. to abstain from sexual misconduct
  5. Right livelihood dictates one should earn one’s living in a righteous way and that wealth should be gained legally and peacefully, while avoiding:
    1. dealing in weapons
    2. dealing in living beings
    3. selling intoxicants and poisons
  6. Right effort is detailed in four types of endeavors that rank in ascending order of perfection:
    1. to prevent the arising of unwholesome states
    2. to abandon unwholesome states that have already arisen
    3. to arouse wholesome states that have not yet arisen
    4. to maintain and perfect wholesome states that have already arisen
  7. Right mindfulness is the mental ability to see things as they are, with clear consciousness, and the four foundations are:
    1. contemplation of the body
    2. contemplation of feeling (repulsive, attractive, or neutral)
    3. contemplation of the state of mind
    4. contemplation of the phenomena
  8. Right concentration refers to the development of a mental force that occurs in natural consciousness and the method of choice to develop right concentration is through the practice of meditation

If you have read up on Stoicism, or my prior posts, you will see similarities to Buddhism above, which is why I was able to identify with it so quickly.

An excellent post comparing Buddhism to Stoicism can be read at dailystoic.com.

Rating: (all out of 5 stars)

Quality of the writing: 5 / 5

Prior to joining the Navy and becoming a Navy Seal, Eric Greitens was a Rhodes and Truman Scholar. While at Oxford he earned Master’s and Doctoral degrees.
His writing is clearly that of someone who is well educated and well read. It struck me as more eloquent, while approachable, than anything I have ever read.

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