I started dating my wife 27 years ago.

These are lessons I have learned along the way.

1. She is her own woman

As a couple, you need time for yourself, time for her, and time together.

If she cannot be alone nor be okay with you being alone, it will not work out.

A strong independent woman is what you need to be a long-term partner in life.

2. She owns her shit

You are 50% responsible for your relationship and 100% responsible for your actions.

You need a partner who takes 100% responsibility for her actions and

50% responsibility for your relationship.

3. She understands her shadows

“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”

You want a partner who has made her unconscious conscious.

A partner who chooses her life and actions.

4. She challenges you

You are a team.

On any team, you want teammates who challenge each other.

Teammates who push each other to be better every single day.

A great partner in life challenges you to be your best.

5. You want to be better for her

Being challenged is one thing.

Responding to the challenge is another.

If you want to be better for her when she challenges you, then it is a sign she may be the one you’ve been waiting for.

6. She supports you

Being challenged, and rising to the challenge, are the start.

A true teammate and life partner not only challenges you to be better, but they also support you in your efforts.

They are your cheerleader, as you are to them, and help you rise to new levels.

7. She shares your values

Your faiths align.

Your beliefs align.

You share a moral compass.

8. She shares your goals

You share a vision.

You want the same things in life.

You are in a boat, rowing in the same direction, together.

9. She speaks your love language

Do you know what your love language is?

If not, read the book “the Five Love Languages” and share your languages with her.

If she is the one, she will know your love language and be willing to speak it. To fill your love tank.

10. You speak her love language

If you have different love languages, make sure you speak hers.

Often, we will have different love languages. That is okay.

The key is to remember to speak each other’s love language, instead of speaking our language to them.

11. You can talk for hours

You love to talk to each other.

When you are in conversation, time flies by.

It doesn’t matter the topic, you know that you will enjoy talking about it with her for hours on end.

12. You complement each other

In a partnership, we need someone who can cover our backs and vice versa.

One of you may be better with cash flow analysis, while the other is better with investing, for example.

Have the conversations to understand how to work best together.

13. You compliment each other

Do you value her?

Does she value you?

Do you communicate that to each other?

When our partner compliments the behaviors they value, and vice versa, we keep doing them.

Compliment each other, always.

14. You are attracted to each other

Sex is not everything,

and sex is very important in a relationship.

When you think about your partner, other women seem unattractive.

15. LIfe without her

You cannot imagine life without her.

When you go to sleep at night, you want to be beside her.

When you wake up in the morning, you want to see her face.

When you are out of town, you cannot wait to get back to her.