Clint Robert Murphy

A LIFE JOURNEY

I am focused on increasing my knowledge in the following areas:

  • Fantasy
  • Stoicism
  • Buddhism
  • Philosophy
  • Psychology
  • Men’s Work
  • Shadow Work
  • Emotional Intelligence
  • Financial Independence

Here are the books I am reading and that I have written reviews on or posted videos on.

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck by Mark Manson – Interesting approach to tell you to stop sweating so much of the little shit in life and instead, focus on only big shit that really moves the needle for you. This reminded me of what Tim Ferriss refers to as First Principles. Favorite quote I will continue to use: No Fucks Given. [Audio Book]

Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss – A very interesting approach to negotiating from someone that could not afford to split the difference. For example, when you are negotiating with someone that has taken two hostages, it is never a good idea to split the difference with them. Learn from Chris Voss, a former FBI hostage negotiator, how the techniques he, and the FBI, used to negotiate the release of hostages can be used every day in all of your negotiations. I found it to be a quick and enlightening read and believe it will be beneficial in everyday life and more importantly the negotiations that really matter. Favorite quote I will continue to use: How can I do that?

Mindset, the New Psychology of Success by Carol Dweck – In this book, Carol differentiates between two types of mindset, the Fixed Mindset and the Growth Mindset. Fundamentally, someone with a fixed mindset believes that they are fixed in certain ways, such as intelligence, talent, physical abilities, artistic capabilities. Someone with a growth mindset, on the other hand, believes they can grow in any, and every, area with sufficient efforts. For example, if they aren’t an artist, they can work at it and they can become a better artist. Something important to consider is that you can demonstrate a growth mindset in certain areas, while devolving to a fixed mindset in others.

For example, By writing this blog, reading 52 books per year, hiring a coach and deciding I will run every day for the second year in a row, I am demonstrating a growth mindset in a number of areas. I know that I can be better and I will work at it to get there. Unfortunately, I will be the first person to tell you that I cannot be an artist, that I don’t have that skillset. Carol impressed me by showing illustrations that were done in the book by average people that could not draw to begin, but could do amazing self sketches with very little training. When I am successful in my goals this year, I will set a goal next year to become an artist, with a goal to focus on abstract paintings.

The most important takeaway for me was how to utilize the concepts from the book in being a father to my two young boys, who should have a mother and father encouraging a growth mindset. For more information, see Growth Mindset for Parents.

Of all the things that are, some are good, others bad, and yet others indifferent. The good are virtues and all that share in them; the bad are the vices and all that indulge them; the indifferent lie in between virtue and vice and include wealth, health, life, death, pleasure and pain.

Epictetus, Discourses, 2.19.12b-13

How can I cultivate indifference to unimportant things?

I can cultivate indifference by training my mind through meditation, heart rate variability training and journaling.

By listening, while not engaging, with my thoughts and recognizing when they go offline, I will learn to not get overly excited, angry or upset.

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With the wind blowing her long black hair behind her and the spring sunshine beating down pleasantly on her back, Akira bent her body low, leaning into Akhal’s strong hot neck. “That’s it boy,” she whispered into his silky chestnut ears, “You can do it, let’s show them what we’ve got!”

In response to her gentle encouragement, the great warhorse bunched his muscles to bring forth an extra burst of speed. His hooves tearing up great clods of earth as he flowed like lightning up the familiar lane.

Laughing boisterously Akira allowed herself to become one with her mount. Riding like the wind itself. Aware that her mother and father rode closely at her heels, holding back just enough to give her and Akhal the lead, but not enough that she would question the win.

Cosmos, she loved her parents. Always pushing her, driving her, and doing their utmost to protect and support her. Her mother, tiny, like an exquisite porcelain doll, with an unexpected rod of iron in her soul. Her father, larger than life itself, menacing to the eye, and full of laughter. They were the very foundation of her character. It was from them and their unconditional love that she gained the courage to leap into the unknown, the insatiable drive for learning that could not be vanquished no matter how many books she devoured, the belief that she could do anything, be anything that she wanted to be. Yes, she loved them with every fiber of her being. Only two others came near to matching their place in her heart.

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“Well boy, c’mon, we’d best get these beasties put away so we can get on with our day.”

Shymon looked over his shoulder at Caiden, leading his massive warhorse, Cathal, toward the barn that housed the livestock.

Once all three horses had been led into their stalls and the bag of feed had been attached to their muzzles, Caiden, Akira, and Shymon began to rub the well-muscled animals down with fresh straw, massaging the sheen of sweat from their hides with care.

“Have I ever told you about the Battle of the Golden General?”  Both Shymon, Akira, and Caiden knew that he had told this story many times before but as always, the children shook their heads, it was a favorite of theirs.

“Hmmmm…now where do I start? Maybe, yes, at the Academy…”

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A while back, I responded to this tweet from Camp F.I.R.E., which was a guest post by Rod Rogers, of the blog make money by cleaning offices.

The tweet, and my reply, started me thinking about FIRE. The many paths that you might take to get there. The realization that one person’s fire may not be another’s.

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