#5: Sex, purpose, presence and execution with Jordan Gray

Since 2009, Jordan Gray  has made it his life’s mission to help as many people as possible create their most fulfilling, passionate, love-filled lives. His way of doing this has been through publishing books and hundreds of articles, coaching clients one-on-one in deep-dive sessions, leading weekly men’s groups, and teaching at seminars. To date, his writing has reached over 80 million readers.

In this conversation, Jordan and I dive deep into how to have better relationships, find our purpose, improve sex life, and deal with suicide attempts, men’s work, and more.

We start the conversation with Jordan’s childhood and the struggles he had to face growing up. Jordan’s relationship with his siblings and his parents was complicated, and this made him feel isolated which ultimately led to him suffering in silence to the point where he attempted suicide. We unpack how that happened, the way his family reacted to it made him think differently about his relationship with them and how he overcame his challenges. 

As a young adult, Jordan had quite an adventurous life for a few years going through relationships, breakups, and trying new things. We talk about what he learned from these experiences and some strategies young people can utilize to build a mindset that helps them become successful and happy. We also talk about how being a “Nice Guy” affects our lives and how to grow beyond it. One of the key milestones in Jordan’s life is joining a men’s group called the Samurai Brotherhood. Jordan talks about what a men’s group is and what he learned from it.

Oftentimes, men have a tendency to keep their pain inside without asking for help from loved ones. Jordan shares his take on why this happens and how to create the mindset that allows us to get out of this behavior. 

Jordan has an interesting perspective on how men view their relationships and sex. We talk about how the way men think about sex is different from what women expect, what makes a good lover, how extended consumption of porn drags us away from reality, and more tips & tricks to improve relationships. Wrapping up the episode, we talk about some of the exciting projects Jordan has planned for upcoming months and how our listeners can get involved.

  [1:28] Lessons From Childhood – For many of us, a lot of life’s struggles come after growing up. But for Jordan, it was quite different. He talks about how going through the struggles of being bullied, isolation, and pain shaped his life path.

[04:47] Reasons Not to Kill Yourself – Jordan shares his thoughts on how to deal with suicidal tendencies and guide our minds toward finding a purpose that helps others.

[12:53] Family & Attempted Suicide – The way Jordan’s family reacted after Jordan’s suicide attempt sort of surprised him, and it made him realize something crucial about his relationship with his parents and siblings. Jordan shares what he learned from this experience.

[16:34] Relationships – How dating and breakups shaped his beliefs in Jordan’s early twenties and how the things he learned through these experiences influenced his career.

[24:36] Strategies for Young Adults – How to build a growth mindset that helps you gradually become successful in life.

[29:12] The “Nice Guy” – Jordan shares his take on how a “nice guy” is, the pros and cons of being one, and how to grow beyond being a nice guy.

[35:22] How Men Could be More Attractive – Jordan shares the essence of one of his videos where he talks about strategies for men to improve their relationships.

[40:11] Adventurous Intimacy – It took Jordan a fair bit of time to realize that lots of adventurous, recreational, but meaningless sexual encounters do not necessarily satisfy his needs. Jordan talks about this realization and what he did after that.

[45:06] Leaving the Country – The next big pivot in Jordan’s life is leaving the country to go to Thailand. We talk about what prompted this decision and the goals Jordan hoped to achieve from this venture.

[54:18] The Samurai Brotherhood – Another important milestone in Jordan’s life is joining a men’s group called the Samurai Brotherhood. Jordan talks about what a men’s group is, the purpose of it, and what he learned from it.

[1:05:49] Suffering in Silence – Oftentimes, men tend to keep their emotional troubles inside without talking about them to closest people. Jordan shares his take on the value of getting out of this behavior.

[1:12:08] What Makes a Good Lover – One of the points Jordan brings up in his videos is that what men tend to think good sex is and women’s perception of good sex are quite different. We dive deep into the reasons for this and how to bridge this gap.

[1:20:00] Porn vs. Reality – How to avoid the adverse effects of consuming port for a long time.

[1:31:30] Future Projects – Jordan talks about the projects, courses, and events he has planned for the next few months and how you can get involved.

Resources:

4 Reasons Not To Kill Yourself:
www.jordangrayconsulting.com/4-reasons-not-to-kill-yourself-read-this-first/

Jordan’s Video Courses:
www.jordangrayconsulting.com/courses

Connect with Jordan:
Website: jordangrayconsulting.com
Instagram: instagram.com/jordan_gray_consulting
Facebook: facebook.com/JordanGrayConsulting

Existential Kink, the book (Amazon link)

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