Masculinity is a concept that has gone through huge transformations over a long time, and the way we perceive masculinity influences our lives in many aspects. Our guest today is a pioneer in inspiring men around the world to shift their experience of masculinity by combining the Primal Masculine with the Divine Masculine. Traver Boehm, the author of “Today I Rise” and “Man UNcivilized,” two-time TEDx speaker and licensed acupuncturist, joins us today to talk about all things masculinity. Throughout the episode, we talk about Traver’s journey through heartache, loss, and grief, managing emotions, Traver’s man Uncivilized movement, and much more.
Traver dives into the conversation with a retelling of how his life experiences of heartache and grief shaped him and how his learning from those experiences became the inspiration for his first book and, ultimately the Man UNcivilized movement.
Traver’s Man UNcivilized movement, along with his book, focuses on helping men understand manhood in its fullness, including being unapologetic about it. We tackle what inspired Traver to start the movement and how it teaches men to live their own life without being wrapped in what society demands.
Sometimes, men fall into the trap of looking outside to make them feel okay with the way they exist in the world. This behavior causes men to disregard their own needs and to care for others ahead of themselves. Robert Glover, a celebrated psychotherapist, coined the term “nice guy syndrome” for this behavior. We dive into the concept of the nice guy, how men are trapped in this behavior, and how to get out of it, including Traver’s course Kill the Nice Guy.
Wrapping up the episode, we talk about ways of dealing with grief and anger and how it is unfortunately being channeled by many men today into repressed rage. Repressed rage that is resulting in abhorrent behavior, such as rape, violence and, ultimately, mass shootings. We reiterate that each man should embody the motto Let others be safe for I walk among them.
[01:56] Life Lessons – Traver shares his experience of going through a chain of life events that drastically altered his life path very fast.
[07:25] Today I Rise – Traver talks about how his life lessons inspired his book, Today I Rise: How To Overcome The Gut-Wrenching Pain Of Your Breakup Or Divorce & Reclaim Your Life.
[15:40] Outrunning the Pain – Escaping from painful memories may not be the ideal solution as your pain stays inside your mind. Traver shares the story of how he learned this lesson while working with a patient.
[19:32] Personal Habits – Traver talk about four aspects of personal habits he started working on to improve his life; journaling, meditation, movement, and sleep.
[25:53] The Uncivilized Movement – Traver talks about the key focus of his other book and how he came up with the idea of being uncivilized.
[34:11] “Evolution of Manhood” – How the concept of masculinity changed over the last few decades and how these changes influenced modern society.
[42:39] The Nice Guy Syndrome – The concept of the “nice guy” is something many men are pushed to follow. Traver talks about who a “nice guy” is, the problems associated with this concept, and how to address them.
[47:59] Grief and Anger – When we stuff down grief and sadness for a long time, sometimes it can lead to anger that explodes at some point. Traver talks about how this happens and what we can do to avoid issues related to grief and anger.
[51:22] Let Others be Safe, for I walk Among Them – Traver dives into a concept he mentions in one of his videos and how men can use it to make our lives better.
[57:35] The Four Fs – Traver talks about four key things every guy needs to have in their life.
Mentioned in the episode:To Be a Man: A Guide to True Masculine Power: